February 10, 2009
Totally Effed
A couple of months ago, my lady doctor recommended I switch up my birth control. Last summer, the one I had previously been on for 10 years let me down, resulting in my fainting on public transportation and an unfortunate Visit that lasted for THREE whole weeks. As bad as all that was though, I’d take it any day over the alternate version of “letting me down.”
So now I’m on something new and it’s, ah….been interesting. At times, it’s made me want to scream from the roof tops how awesomely better I feel each month. The flip side of this equation is that I’m a ragging raging ball of *good* hormones for once. You’re probably wondering why that could be a bad thing. In a way, it’s not.
Except that I WANT SEX ALL THE TIME. Uh huh. I think about it non-stop (is this what it’s like to be a dude?). We’re talking in line at the Jewel, during your product development meeting, while folding laundry, after a shower, every time I look at The Bateman’s “eyes,” even sitting on the stanky ass Metra this morning. I WANT TO HAVE THE SEX. Now, please.
Still, as much as I want somebody to slam ME up against a wall (sigh), I’m not the type who’s down with the casual encounter. And let’s face it, taking matters into your own hands is NOT a fulfilling replacement. I fantasize about relationship sex. So essentially I’m fantasizing about what I cannot have right now, which seems to only be making it worse.
All I keep thinking about is what I had at Christmas. How he carried me into his bedroom, how he kissed me until I was dizzy, how he undressed me, how he insisted “no, you just lay back, baby- you first,” how he….and….and then….after he….and then I….while he….and again….
Okay, this isn’t helping. Fuck.
1ThatGotaWay said,
February 10, 2009 at 9:24 am
Yep, that’s what we guys call “normal.”
BTW, is that an intentional mis-spelling that makes you a “ragging” ball of good hormones? Hilarious.
Things work out, buddy. This one will, too.
andhari said,
February 10, 2009 at 9:48 am
LOL im not on it but i experience the same problem.
my friends tell me i might be quite a nymphomatic.
YIKES??
longredcape said,
February 10, 2009 at 9:58 am
Um yes, me too. NY not here? MISERY.
brandy said,
February 10, 2009 at 11:30 am
Dude. I. Can. Relate.
Sigh.
Annnnnnd everything else I was going to say just seemed really, really unnecessary. But yes. I. Can. Relate.
Ashton Likes said,
February 10, 2009 at 12:43 pm
This may be too much info for a first time comment, BUT, my Girlfriend’s been thinking about switching her BC she’s been on for years and years.
You see, her “drive” just hasn’t quite been present as of late. As the Boyfriend I’m hoping to GOD that it has something to do with her daily hormonal intake and not, well, me…
So, (awkward pause) I’m curious, if it’s not too much too ask, if you could possibly make a recommendation to a poor fellow as to which wonderful and beautiful contraceptive you are now using so I could gently make a “hint” to my Lady?
And by hint I mean, “Darling, I love you soooo very, very much. Please, for the love of all things happy, why don’t you give “x” a try. I’ve heard good things from the internets.”
I’ll give you presents.
nic said,
February 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm
OTGA- Ugh. Nope. I hate hate hate that word. Guess you could say I have other things than spelling on my mind.
andhari- YIKES nothing. That’s awesome. I guess I never realized how much it can affect things.
LRC- Still no NY? Sounds like you guys will have a lot to make up for when he comes back….
brandy- That’s exactly how I feel these days….everything else IS really unnecessary!
Ashton Likes- An honest comment like that deserves an honest reply. I hope it’s not you either, but I can say from experience there are a lot of factors that can impact that sort of thing. As for the hormonal stuff- I take Loestrin now. That said, I have a feeling that what works for one person, doesn’t automatically work for another, so I’d say she should really talk with her doctor about what’s best for her. Good luck! (Maybe take her to CA again….I hear vacations can be a good inducement for some extra-special sexy time. Just sayin’.)
Kate said,
February 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm
What did they put you on??? I was on the patch for several years and I think it quashed my hormones … now that I’m not on anything, my sex drive is OOC.
Ashton Likes said,
February 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Ha! California did treat us well! I think she’s going to see her lady doc when she gets back in town this week. Thanks for the honesty back… And you did good, the pharmaceutical company would be proud of your little disclaimer!
Chica said,
February 11, 2009 at 3:32 am
That’s what I fantasise about too, relationship sex, and with this possible boyfriend on the scene, it’s like I want to, but I don’t, because I don’t love him, so I somehow feel I can’t? Do I belong in the 19th Century or what? I was wondering yesterday if I could just keep Boyf on tap for sex and date other people!!
Yeah, it’s been a while now…
Have Boobs, Will Travel « Nic Narrates said,
February 20, 2009 at 4:42 pm
[...] with mom, booze fests with the gals, new hobbies (Oooo! Calligraphy! Fancy!), a pinch hitter (you know what I mean), Häagen-Daz Banana Split ice cream, stomping in puddles in my new Hunter rain boots, Tylenol [...]