November 19, 2008
Toolbag Wednesday #15: Facebook Cult Members
You know who you are. You giggle at lunch about who said what on whose “wall” and about so-and-so’s “status.” You go on and on about the crazy funny pictures you just put up. You debate the merits of making your page private vs. public. And you question the etiquette of “friending” family members.
And then you tell me, “You should get one! I can’t believe you’re not on Facebook! OMG!!!” like it’s the only way I can get in touch with you. Like I’m a freaking DINOSAUR for relying on emails, text messages, and phone calls to stay in touch. Never mind that I see most of your delightful faces on a regular basis anyway!
Besides, I already have this blog, which as far as web sites go would always be more meaningful and rewarding to the writer in me. And I’d hate for it to get jealous by my running off with some new-fangled and meaningless URL. I can’t even work up the nerve to elope with WordPress (although I think that day is nigh).
More than any other reason though, the more I’m pressured, the less interest I have in Facebook. In fact, I’m just going to come right out and say it: I want no part of your cult. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Facebook is a cult and I refuse to bow down.
So even though it’s what all the cool kids are doing these days, and despite your clever offers to skirt my old-timey disinterest by trying to create a page for me; don’t think I don’t see through your thinly veiled attempts to lure me to the dark side. I cannot be ridiculed or mocked or shamed into having a page.
Now, you kids run along and have your fun. This grandma promises to still love you and text you from that relic, the smartphone. Kthxbye.
